माह़ी
इस यकता तालुक को देख, आज आवाम में हैं हैरत
तेरी मशाल से ही बंधी हैं सासे, की तू हैं मेरी इबादत
खुश नुमः, इस मंज़र के खुमार में घर्क हैं कुछ इस क़दर यह आँखें
इस आस में, की एक मर्तबह कोई शरारह मुझे दूज़ दीदा नज़र बक्शे, ज़रा तोह झाके
तेरे सुर्ख नूर से हैं रोशन यह वजूद, पूरा जहाँ हैं इस बात का गवाह
खुश नुमः तेरे रक्स में जलन ही नहीं, की इस रोग को न दुआ लगी, न दवाः
ज़रीन जुल्फों के बोसे को तरसती हैं मेरी खुश्क काया
इस आपिश के इख्तियार में ज़र्रे ज़र्रे पे छाया बेखुदी का साया
जीनत–e-हया को कभी कर निसार, सरगोशी करती हो आहिस्ते से
कभी गैज़ की देहेक्ति शुआ-एन बरसाती हो गरज के
कुदरत की नायाब करामात, खुदा का हो तुम करम
फिर चाहे कोई मुझे काफ़िर कहे या तेरी ज़र्द बाहों को मेरा भरम
इस मुक़द्दस इतिहाद के खुमार में तहलील होके तुझे देखता जाता हूँ
जलन को महसूस किये बगैर, लम्हा लम्हा मैं जलता ही जाता हूँ
वाइज़ कहते हैं मुझसे यह इश्क नहीं हैं
संनात्ता हैं जिसका अंजाम, यह हैं वो आग
कोई उन्हें बताये, की हमने जल के देखा हैं
और ज़माने से सोयी यह बेनूर आँखें आज गयी हैं जग
डरता हूँ की जाने कब व्हो लमाह आ जाये
की मैं रख और तू धुआं बन उड़ जाए
इस आलेदः को ना मेरी रूह शे पायेगी
इन्श-अ-अल्लाह, तुझसे पहले मुझे ही मौत आएगी

मुख्तलिफ

आज बद-इ-सबा ने मुह है मोड़ा‚ बाग़बान भी हुआ है बेगाना
बाइस जब पूछा मैने‚ तो कहता है की आलम का फरमान था मुझे भी निभाना
कल्ब की हर मशघूल थी ख़ालिस, तमऩना-इ-उड़ान जागी थी एक बार फिर
दम-साज़ थे सभी, इतिहाद कुछ ऐसा था कि खुदा भी था मुतासिर
पर फिरक़ाह फी बरपी एक ऐसी पाइऩदाह चिऩगारी
फना हुई मोहब्बत, किसी भी गैर की मौजूदगी बनी भारी
तसव्वुरी उड़ान की चाह मे, कभी तन्ग, कभी बाघी, कभी हुआ लाचार
पर मक्बूलियत ही है अब मुकद्दऱ, जब की लिहाज़ की हर सीमा हुई है पार
काबिल-ए-कबूल ना था दुनिया-ए-दस्तूर
ऱग पर था मुझे नाज़, रव्वैये मे था गुरूर
आफाक तक उड़ान की रखी थी ख्वाइश
पर बेरूनी रोख के नाम पे खूब हुई नुमाइश
किसी ने कावा कहा, किसी ने सियाही
मेरी बोली, मेरी उड़ान पर हर तरह से रोक लगाई
आबरू रिज़ी की शर्मिन्दगी का एहसास हुआ कुछ ऐसा गहरा
दर्द-ए-अफज़ाइश था इतना कि आइना भी पहचान ना पाया मेरा चहरा
आफताब-ए-नूर से आती थी शरम, फजर् का रहता मुझे इन्तज़ार
अफरोज़-ए-चिराग की पनाह मे छुपा, के अब वजूद भी था अध्यार
जाने क्यो उस चराग से कल्ब को थी एक अजीब सी चाह
शायद उसी के नूर से दमक उठे ये बेनूर आज़ूरदाह
इस बेगाने शहर की बेगान्गी अब बन गयी है मसला
के अब जन्नत और जहन्नुम मे कम हो रहा है फासला
आज बद-इ-सबा ने मुह है मोड़ा‚ बाघबान भी हुआ है बेगाना
बाइस जब पूछा मैने‚ तो कहता है की आलम का फरमान था मुझे भी निभाना


Word Meanings :
Mukhtalif = different/ various
bad-e-saba = pleasant breeze in d mrning
baees = reason
qalb=heart, mashghool = intent, Khalis =pure
damsaaz=friends, itihaad = unity, mutasir = impressed
firqah = caste/class, paindaah = lasting
fanaa =destroy
tasavoori udaan =ideal flight
maqbooliyat = acceptance
aafaq = horizon
berooni rokh = different look/color
kawa = crow, siyahi = color of ink
aabroo rizi = loss of respect
dard-e-afzaish = increasing pain
aaftaab-e-noor = sun’s light, fajr = dawn
aafroz –e-chiraag = lamp’s light, adhyaar = stranger
aazordaah = dejected
masla = problem

Obituary

It’s not every day that a teacher comes along
And you fall in love with every lecture, no matter how long
A man with such deep knowledge and insight
Someone who always encouraged us to achieve, to question, to fight
With such tremendous passion, conviction and might
That it gave ample color to mere words black and white
All my knowledge and learning, I owe them to you
But suddenly, there is this void and it does make me feel blue
Today I stand proudly, where I am because of what you taught me
But I’m unfortunate enough not to even get a chance to thank thee
We know you’ve passed into a very long deep sleep
And we can do nothing to get you back; just weep
Life surprises me and I’m intrigued my its unpredictability
How and why the best of the lot get to face the wrath of life’s brevity
I only wish Sir that the heavenly angels sing out loud to you
That you’ll be loved, cherished, missed and so much that you have no clue!

will miss you sir!

The Stage

Living in a wrld of self created illusions
to humor myself, i romance delusions
Too numb to face the hurricane of reality
My fictitious life remains my escape to sanity
A neverending deliberation to find the roots to my fear
But still i can't understand; maybe coz the answer's too near
More than others, it is with myself that i fight
To mollify the hard facts, i let slip by whatever's right
But many a times, my dubious existence leaves me jaded
Coz sooner or later, this facade will begin to appear faded
When the presumptuous smile shall vanish and the pink of my cheeks would clear
The curtains shall rise and instead of me, a pierrette will appear
Facing a plethora of stares questioning my cowardly creation
And the ignonimity of facing a standalone revelation
I know that those who question me are in their own conscious unclear
Soon, they’ll be in my place is their constant plaguing fear
But today’s my day to face the wrath of the spotlight
Even though I’m not the only one, who with myself, fight
I wonder why ‘I’ becomes uncomfortable with ‘me’
Why the ‘I’ is compelled to be so artificial when ‘me’ is so butterfree
Those who stare at me today could be my likely answer
But there’s limited longevity of a lone lancer
So, shout as much I wish, only to see words strike a transparent wall
Coz even before I can fully justify, the curtains, on my life’s stage...shall fall..

Suchita

Back to the Cocoon

An uncertain heart in April’s uncertain weather
Wondered if it was just her love or their love together
The sweet romance testified against her fear
Only, making what was stark, even more difficult to bear
Those lips that had once taught her to kiss
Were abasing and spitting venom with an unmistakable hiss
That look of his eyes, which alone could make her shy
Was accusing her unforgivingly and like many a times before, made her cry
Suddenly immune to the words being spoken, memories begun to flash
When love for her, he had proclaimed, unabashed
Wasn’t it a fire from both the hearts, that led to the start
Then why did their destiny treason, why this way they had to part
Befuddling yet amorous claims, he had made, before her virgin heart
When tactfully avoiding them, was to the latter, an unknown art
And so in love, she had blossomed like a rose
Coz, to never any man, had she been so close
She danced, sang, played in this love fest
This butterfly, for a long time ensuing, was never at rest
But the fest came to an end, a bitter one though
That cut her wings and drained her off all colour and glow
She accepted the silence and dullness even though she was aghast
But it was fated coz, now music and clothes, even the mirror reminded her of the past
An uneasy and unending silence lingered on
And as the world slept on that fateful night
When she was numb, with all feelings, all fear gone
She let two sharp edges, into her skin, bite
But going against her plans was God’s favorite move
And yet again, this was just what he proved
All ties broken and not even a ‘goodbye’ was said
Even as the wrist that he’d once kissed, now bled
She wept and wept and exhausted all her tears
And knew the recovery would take more than one or two years
But a strange madness had taken over and she wondered why
Her stupid heart still beats with hope and urged her to try
But this butterfly refused to love again
To partake in this purely painful game
Her heart preferred to stay in the umbra of the past
And stay protected and invulnerable in the cocoon of her body’s cast
Still hoping that its brutal carnage was a bitter nightmare
But dying everyday at the hands of reality’s surly air
Her heart finally realized it’s incoherence with her
And so with ‘his’ one last memory, closed its eyes forever
Never to be woken again by any other man
Passing away into a final slumber still wondering ‘what was god’s plan’?

Suchita

The Fallen Angel

For living a mirage, she traded her dreams

Calling it ‘her’ choice, with pride, she beams

She let her heart rule over her head

And lived through the venom destiny silently knead

She learned to love but couldn’t unlearn

The latter became the reason for her to burn

“Love it was” claimed the dreamy brat

But was “lesser” and she played possum to that

She knew the fall was in the coming

But the angel laughed through her fall

Up to the abyss, she kept on humming

“How much I loved will now be known to all”

She was a novice with a virgin heart

Called him ‘her life’ and herself his part

Still discovering the ‘hows’ and ‘whys’

On seeing others realized how pseudo were her ties

Little nothings that others had, her young heart began to miss

Dreaded the time when she would have to call it the last kiss

With abundant patience and nervous eyes she waited

But life went on and as others claimed ‘left her insatiated’

She knew the fall was in the coming

But the angel laughed through her fall

Up to the abyss, she kept on humming

“How much I loved will now be known to all”

And not just laughed, she cried and sang aloud

Coz it was true love that she had explored

Falling finally free of all the crowd

Who forever in her criticism roared

She knew the end…right from the start

But continued in hope of later cherishing that part

She could never love again or at least so she felt

And awaited the final fall for her existence to melt.

She knew the fall was in the coming

But the angel laughed through her fall

Up to the abyss, she kept on humming

“How much I loved will now be known to all” Suchita..……

A Night's Story

It was a beautiful night of innocent emotions

When confusion and love were in mixed proportions

Can’t say even today if it was an overdose of love potions

Or was I just disillusioned with preconceived notions

I knew I was treading a wrong path

But for those few moments, I was ready to face the ultimate wrath

The evening began with love’s tender aroma

And for the first time, the night sky seemed a crimson chroma.

Throughout the conversation, he was trying to understand the complex ‘me’

And the temporary stillness of a colorful kite too used to be free

But, the kite, for once longed for strings

To experience the joy that bondages would bring

His one melting look and I cursed my heart for its lack of might

At the same time, holding back tears that I was failing to fight

Lost in him, when on my palms, he placed something, packed in a glittery blue

Not expecting such a boyish gesture, of how I should react, I had no clue

Like a pampered brat who is refused her most desired gift

I was swept by a sudden sense of loss coz here onwards our paths would drift

A culmination was out of question even though our emotions were same

But both had trespassed forbidden boundaries and so couldn’t give the feeling a

Name

Frozen in the irony of the situation, the only warmth was flowing through my

Eyes

More high on him than the drinks, my heart couldn’t indulge in lies

Then almost naturally, our arms that had never met, found each other

And for those few seconds, about the world I didn’t bother

Wrapped up in emotions, ignoring all who stood to stare

An inept peck on the neck is all my inebriation could make me dare

Though the memories of that night are a little hazy

I am sure my behavior couldn’t have been more crazy

Walking down the streets, our hands and fingers among themselves locked

Choosing to ignore the truth, at my luck’s defeat, I mocked

Wanting to keep the memories alive and fresh forever

The blue glittery gift I decided to keep, but open never

I am surprised at the games life likes to play

Romancing dreams of castles but make them as fragile as clay

But the shadows of the past continue to garnish my present

Never towards them, can I feel any resent

A saga of estranged love this is not

Neither is that night on my character, a blot

I believe, with love this was my closest brush

And even though my emotions got branded as just a crush

I’m glad coz my life’s canvas experienced its first blush.

…………Suchita….